Slightly more one-sided

Me: Come here, Taffy! Come on up! There's room on the couch! Come on! Here girl!"
Taffy: ...
Me: ComeoncomeoncomeoncomeonTaffy!
Taffy: [walks away towards the dining room]
Me: I didn't say go to Mum! Why? Why? Come on girl, come on! Come here!
Taffy: [returns]
Me: Come on! Come on up! Good girl! You're my favourite puppy!
Taffy: ...
Me: Okay, don't come up. If you ever come up on the couch, it will be too soon.
Taffy: ...
Me: What gives? The regular psychology doesn't work on you and neither does the reverse kind? What kind of evil mastermind are you?
Taffy: ...