Thursday, May 08, 2008

Functions

Esquire has compiled a list of The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master. Let's go through it:

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence.
3. Take a photo.
5. Name a book that matters.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
9. Write a letter.
11. Swim three different strokes
12. Show respect without being a suck-up.
15. Calculate square footage.
17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well. (Thank you, iced tea classic!)
21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
23. Be loyal.
26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
30. Feign interest.
31. Make a bed.
35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear.
44. Ask for help.
48. Remove a stain.
49. Say no.
50. Fry an egg sunny-side up.
51. Build a campfire. (God knows how I remember, but I do.)
56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
57. Explain what a light-year is.
59. Write a thank-you note.
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product.
61. Cook bacon.
62. Hold a baby.
64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.
70. Shake hands.
73. Caress a woman's neck. (Don't ruin this one for me.)

Apparently as far as the kitchen goes, a man only has to know how to cook meat. That enough is reason to pay little attention to the rest, though to be honest I thought it was pretty cool learning how to tell North using just your watch and the sun.